My life in ruins

I'm one of those silly people that ''live'' at a place, but still need a friend to take them around to actually explore it and show me some hidden gems.

It was no different this time, when a friend shortly visited and showed me these majestic ruins of Saint Dunstan in the East Church, located right in the City of London, that I probably passed numerous times without knowing what's actually there.

Still, London was always a bit of specially special place to me. Being younger, I visited it many times as I have relatives living here, for few magical weeks, during which I was basically treated like a princess, taken around and living the high and exciting life.

When I firstly moved here on my own, about two years ago, hype wasn't destroyed right away. Despite not being under the safe wings of people I knew my whole life, I was set on adventure of my own. I found myself a bunch of friends among people staying at the same place, and after a week or two of planing to find a job and more permanent spot to live, I was once again caught in a vertigo of adventures, careless days and nights out. As I still didn't have to pay for my accommodation and mostly also not for food (going on ''first dates'' with numerous people turned out to be especially handy on this part), I had more then enough resources (or well, savings), to continue living like if there's no tomorrow. And to be honest, that's how my life at that moment mostly felt like. No plans, no hopes, no future, I was in ruins just as well, but it wasn't any less beautiful.

Fast forward to about 6 months later. I gave up my negligent lifestyle, moved away for the summer, had job, survived, crossed Europe from one side to another, and by the time most of my belongings started to fall apart, (but I was not,) found myself on a long bus ride, all the way from the west of France, trough Paris, trough the channel tunnel and back to London.

Let me admit, that beside learning numerous languages in my life, including Chinese, I'm not really fluent in much more then English, so that's also one of the reasons UK always seemed as a safe place to be.

This time I actually took it serious. I kinda gave up on friends (most of which left anyway), and started looking for a job right away. It still took time, more than a month to be honest, and then some additional weeks to find something I actually liked. I went on and found myself an internship. And even further, a training... in another country! And this is when things started falling apart once more. Because after one, you can always find another training, in another country, and another... My job didn't required me to be there 5 days a week, unless when I wanted. My internship could be done from home (or elsewhere), until one lazy night in Cyprus I received an email that they're letting me go. My home turned into a suitcase, the one of a size you can store under the seat in front of you.

I probably spent most of my year sleeping in hotels or hostels rather then in my own bed, and for most nights that I didn't, I slept on improvised bed on the floor.

But even though I sometimes didn't have idea where I'd be even a week from that moment, the biggest difference, that I could never found in all the security and stability, was that I was happy. Like sincerely happy.

And if last year for my birthday I wrote I could never believe that such feeling and state of mind are possible if you'd tell me about them just 24 months before, this year I'm still living the life I could never even dreamed of. And perhaps it's much better then all my craziest dreams and hopes ever were.

The craze certainly continues, I briefly left London to visit Czech republic, and instead of taking my booked flight back from Prague, I somehow just moved to another country, the one I'd probably not really thought of.

I'm in ''middle of nowhere'', I'm happy, I have no idea what would happen after summer is over, but I certainly believe adventures would continue. Since there's still so many places to visit and things to experience. And real life can wait. Or not. Maybe for somebody else, cos it's obviously not for me.